It seemed that no matter what he did, drinking whisky or
taking pills, the awful feeling wouldn’t go away.
On Saturday afternoon he was sitting in the kitchen with his mother. She was just scooping the last of the chocolate cake mix into the pan when the phone rang. ‘Chris, get that will you – oh! You never answer the phone,’ she said angrily when he made no move.
Christopher was staring at the table as Mum reached across for the phone. He thought to himself she was right, he would never answer the home phone anymore. Mum and Dad still hadn’t got a proper phone, so you didn’t know who was on the other end of the line. He dreaded that it would be his uncle, and that he’d have to talk to him.
‘Yes, Bill, I'll send him around with it straight away, bye’. The mention of his uncle brought him back from his thoughts.
‘That was Bill, he wants you to…’ her voice trailed off as she turned around to look at Chris.
The cold sickly feeling in his stomach was threatening to reach his mouth and he quickly put his hand up to stop it.
‘Chris, are you all right?’ He knew Mum must be able to see how pale he had gotten.
Chris could feel the sickness rising in his body and the tears in his eyes. But when he took his hand away from his mouth, it wasn’t sickness that came rushing out, but fear and anger.
‘I won’t. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him…’ he cried.
It was as if all the stored up feelings came rushing out at once. Chris was crying like he had never cried before. It felt as if he was falling apart.
But his mum was holding him in her arms and he felt safe enough there to let the pain and sadness come tumbling around him.
He didn’t know how long they had been there, but a quietness came over him, and he realised that he and his mum were sitting on the floor. She was holding him tightly in her arms and gently rocking.
‘Chris, Chris what is the matter? I have never heard you say that about your uncle before.’
Mum didn’t understand what was happening, but she could see that something was really upsetting him, and that it was connected with Bill.
‘He’s – he’s hurt me.’
‘How has he hurt you, Chris?’ His mum was still puzzled, but could tell by Chris’s voice that it was serious.
Chris felt lost for words. How could he tell his mother about the horrible things that had happened to him? But it seemed that having made it this far, he had to keep going. The warmth of his mother’s body so close to him gave him courage.
‘He made me do things to him and he did things to me. Dirty things.’ The words seemed to fall from his mouth. Chris felt really awful and embarrassed but it was a relief to let go of the secret.
His mother was shocked and confused. She felt she needed some help with this and called her husband in from the back yard. Together they helped Chris to tell about what had happened between his uncle and him over the last two years. Chris said how guilty he felt, as if it was his fault that it had happened, and how this was what stopped him from telling before. His parents said they could understand how difficult it was for Chris and to his surprise they said they did not think it was his fault. They said they thought that Bill, as an adult, was the one who should have known better and was responsible.
Chris’s father and mother were both furious with Bill. His dad wanted to go around and confront him, but his mum was worried that Dad was too angry and would hit him. So after discussing what they should do, they decided that it would be better to report it to the police.
Chris’s stomach felt like it was knotted up as he and his parents walked into the police station, but he felt safe with his mother and father there to talk for him. The sergeant took the three of them into a room down the corridor after his Dad explained what they had come to report.
They didn’t have to wait very long before two detectives came in and introduced themselves. First they wanted to hear from Chris. His parents were allowed to stay though. Chris felt awful having to go through the whole thing again with two strangers, but his parents helped him and the police took it very seriously.
Then Chris’s parents had to make a statement as well. They found it difficult too and they kept saying how guilty they felt for not having noticed it was happening.
The police then said Chris’s parents could take him home but they weren’t to have any contact with his uncle until he had been interviewed by the police.
It was several days before the police contacted the Bruyns again. Chris had begun to wonder if they were going to do anything about it – perhaps they hadn’t believed him after all. But they had been to talk to his uncle, who had admitted to sexually assaulting Chris. They had arrested him, but he was going to be let out on bail until the court case, on the condition that he had no contact with Chris.
It was two months before the case came to court.
Chris found it really scary having to be in the same room as his uncle. It was really difficult having to repeat the whole story again, but the two detectives had gone through the story a couple of times with Chris before the hearing so he knew what sort of questions he was going to be asked. The most difficult part was seeing his uncle sitting there with his head hung down. Bill wouldn’t look at Chris, and Chris was glad he didn’t.
After his uncle had been questioned by the lawyers and the judge, and he had admitted he was guilty, the judge adjourned the court for some time. It seemed to take ages, but then he called everyone in again and announced that he found Chris’s uncle guilty and sentenced him to two years in prison.
After they left the court and Chris was sitting in the back seat of the car on his way home, he felt a strange mixture of things. Two years in prison seemed a long time and he almost felt sorry for Bill. But at the same time he thought two years was not enough compared with how hurt he felt. Part of him said it should have been ten years – even twenty.
Things didn’t get immediately better for Chris. There were times when he still felt really low. Despite his uncle having name suppression, he didn’t want to go out much in case he met anyone he knew because they were bound to know what had happened – particularly since it had gone to court. People always talked, he knew they would, and he knew what they would say about him.
His parents were still really worried about him being so sad and not wanting to go out. They asked their doctor what they could do. He advised them that Chris should see a psychotherapist. He said that Chris would have a lot of feelings about what had happened to him and that although it was good that they could talk with Chris about it (and they should continue to do so), he would get quite a bit out of talking to a therapist who had a lot of experience in helping teenagers who had been sexually abused.
So Chris began to see a psychotherapist once a week. It took a long time before Chris began to feel differently about himself. He continued to see his therapist for almost a year.
But what seemed to change things for him after that time was joining a therapy group where he met others who had been sexually abused. Most of them were girls, but there was another boy there too. ‘Maybe I am not so alone in the world after all,’ he thought.
On Saturday afternoon he was sitting in the kitchen with his mother. She was just scooping the last of the chocolate cake mix into the pan when the phone rang. ‘Chris, get that will you – oh! You never answer the phone,’ she said angrily when he made no move.
Christopher was staring at the table as Mum reached across for the phone. He thought to himself she was right, he would never answer the home phone anymore. Mum and Dad still hadn’t got a proper phone, so you didn’t know who was on the other end of the line. He dreaded that it would be his uncle, and that he’d have to talk to him.
‘Yes, Bill, I'll send him around with it straight away, bye’. The mention of his uncle brought him back from his thoughts.
‘That was Bill, he wants you to…’ her voice trailed off as she turned around to look at Chris.
The cold sickly feeling in his stomach was threatening to reach his mouth and he quickly put his hand up to stop it.
‘Chris, are you all right?’ He knew Mum must be able to see how pale he had gotten.
Chris could feel the sickness rising in his body and the tears in his eyes. But when he took his hand away from his mouth, it wasn’t sickness that came rushing out, but fear and anger.
‘I won’t. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him…’ he cried.
It was as if all the stored up feelings came rushing out at once. Chris was crying like he had never cried before. It felt as if he was falling apart.
But his mum was holding him in her arms and he felt safe enough there to let the pain and sadness come tumbling around him.
He didn’t know how long they had been there, but a quietness came over him, and he realised that he and his mum were sitting on the floor. She was holding him tightly in her arms and gently rocking.
‘Chris, Chris what is the matter? I have never heard you say that about your uncle before.’
Mum didn’t understand what was happening, but she could see that something was really upsetting him, and that it was connected with Bill.
‘He’s – he’s hurt me.’
‘How has he hurt you, Chris?’ His mum was still puzzled, but could tell by Chris’s voice that it was serious.
Chris felt lost for words. How could he tell his mother about the horrible things that had happened to him? But it seemed that having made it this far, he had to keep going. The warmth of his mother’s body so close to him gave him courage.
‘He made me do things to him and he did things to me. Dirty things.’ The words seemed to fall from his mouth. Chris felt really awful and embarrassed but it was a relief to let go of the secret.
His mother was shocked and confused. She felt she needed some help with this and called her husband in from the back yard. Together they helped Chris to tell about what had happened between his uncle and him over the last two years. Chris said how guilty he felt, as if it was his fault that it had happened, and how this was what stopped him from telling before. His parents said they could understand how difficult it was for Chris and to his surprise they said they did not think it was his fault. They said they thought that Bill, as an adult, was the one who should have known better and was responsible.
Chris’s father and mother were both furious with Bill. His dad wanted to go around and confront him, but his mum was worried that Dad was too angry and would hit him. So after discussing what they should do, they decided that it would be better to report it to the police.
Chris’s stomach felt like it was knotted up as he and his parents walked into the police station, but he felt safe with his mother and father there to talk for him. The sergeant took the three of them into a room down the corridor after his Dad explained what they had come to report.
They didn’t have to wait very long before two detectives came in and introduced themselves. First they wanted to hear from Chris. His parents were allowed to stay though. Chris felt awful having to go through the whole thing again with two strangers, but his parents helped him and the police took it very seriously.
Then Chris’s parents had to make a statement as well. They found it difficult too and they kept saying how guilty they felt for not having noticed it was happening.
The police then said Chris’s parents could take him home but they weren’t to have any contact with his uncle until he had been interviewed by the police.
It was several days before the police contacted the Bruyns again. Chris had begun to wonder if they were going to do anything about it – perhaps they hadn’t believed him after all. But they had been to talk to his uncle, who had admitted to sexually assaulting Chris. They had arrested him, but he was going to be let out on bail until the court case, on the condition that he had no contact with Chris.
It was two months before the case came to court.
Chris found it really scary having to be in the same room as his uncle. It was really difficult having to repeat the whole story again, but the two detectives had gone through the story a couple of times with Chris before the hearing so he knew what sort of questions he was going to be asked. The most difficult part was seeing his uncle sitting there with his head hung down. Bill wouldn’t look at Chris, and Chris was glad he didn’t.
After his uncle had been questioned by the lawyers and the judge, and he had admitted he was guilty, the judge adjourned the court for some time. It seemed to take ages, but then he called everyone in again and announced that he found Chris’s uncle guilty and sentenced him to two years in prison.
After they left the court and Chris was sitting in the back seat of the car on his way home, he felt a strange mixture of things. Two years in prison seemed a long time and he almost felt sorry for Bill. But at the same time he thought two years was not enough compared with how hurt he felt. Part of him said it should have been ten years – even twenty.
Things didn’t get immediately better for Chris. There were times when he still felt really low. Despite his uncle having name suppression, he didn’t want to go out much in case he met anyone he knew because they were bound to know what had happened – particularly since it had gone to court. People always talked, he knew they would, and he knew what they would say about him.
His parents were still really worried about him being so sad and not wanting to go out. They asked their doctor what they could do. He advised them that Chris should see a psychotherapist. He said that Chris would have a lot of feelings about what had happened to him and that although it was good that they could talk with Chris about it (and they should continue to do so), he would get quite a bit out of talking to a therapist who had a lot of experience in helping teenagers who had been sexually abused.
So Chris began to see a psychotherapist once a week. It took a long time before Chris began to feel differently about himself. He continued to see his therapist for almost a year.
But what seemed to change things for him after that time was joining a therapy group where he met others who had been sexually abused. Most of them were girls, but there was another boy there too. ‘Maybe I am not so alone in the world after all,’ he thought.
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