She hadn’t meant to spill the beans, least of all to
Mum. It just happened one day when she was already feeling
upset. Mum had criticised her behaviour towards her dad,
and before she knew it, Liv had said far more than she ever
intended to. She stood horror-struck afterwards, holding her
hand over her mouth but it was too late. Mum looked just as
shocked, like a T.V. character who had been paused. The
silence and stillness seemed to go on forever until, suddenly,
Mum turned and left the room.
Afterwards, she was able to tell Liv how sorry she was for doing that. At the time it had been impossible for her to grasp what Liv had said and that was how she dealt with it.
Liv, left standing alone, felt numb. She realised she desperately wanted Mum to hold her and tell her it was okay. She wasn’t sure how long she stood completely motionless, but suddenly she just needed to move, to shake of the feeling of being abandoned that had come over her.
When she came home a couple of hours later, after wandering the streets blindly, Mum and Dad were sitting at the table. She could tell Mum had been crying and Dad looked very pale.
The atmosphere in the house was tense for days. Mum was angry. Dad kept saying that he didn’t know why everyone was making a big deal out of nothing. This made Mum angrier still and eventually she, Liv and Will moved out.
Liv was really upset about their separation. Lots of her friends’ parents were divorced but she never thought it would happen to her parents. She felt it was all her fault. Before the separation agreement could go to court, her parents were told to get some counselling. Mum came home and said that the counsellor said that he needed to inform the Child Protection Team what had happened and it was likely they would decide Liv’s dad should be prosecuted.
In the end, Mum was given custody of Liv and Will, which meant she was the person in charge of looking after her. Dad was not sent to prison, but was only allowed to visit every second weekend in the presence of a court approved person provided Liv wanted to see him. The court also recommended therapy for all of the family members. Liv met regularly with a counsellor to talk about what had happened to her and how she felt about it. Sometimes it was very hard, but talking with someone who seemed to understand was helpful.
One day, Liv’s counsellor suggested that she attend a group with other teenagers who had been sexually abused. She was really scared about going and to begin with, felt she didn’t belong. Everyone, except her, had been forced to have intercourse. She discovered though, that other people were describing exactly the same feelings she had, and this was really reassuring.
The whole family attended family sessions. At first this was difficult too. Although they talked about lots of things apart from sex, Liv felt embarrassed whenever they got onto that subject. There were other difficult things too – like the time her Dad had cried. She had never seen him cry before. She felt really bad and wished she had never said anything so he wouldn’t have to go through this.
However, Dad explained it had been a relief to be able to cry. He had been feeling really bad anyway and if Liv hadn’t told he might have gone further one day. He was responsible for what had happened, not her, but she was the one that made it possible for them all to get help.
Best of all, however, Mum and Dad eventually decided to get back together. They had some therapy together, to deal with the feelings they had about each other, and to try and get the difficulties sorted out so that their marriage would work out this time.
Afterwards, she was able to tell Liv how sorry she was for doing that. At the time it had been impossible for her to grasp what Liv had said and that was how she dealt with it.
Liv, left standing alone, felt numb. She realised she desperately wanted Mum to hold her and tell her it was okay. She wasn’t sure how long she stood completely motionless, but suddenly she just needed to move, to shake of the feeling of being abandoned that had come over her.
When she came home a couple of hours later, after wandering the streets blindly, Mum and Dad were sitting at the table. She could tell Mum had been crying and Dad looked very pale.
The atmosphere in the house was tense for days. Mum was angry. Dad kept saying that he didn’t know why everyone was making a big deal out of nothing. This made Mum angrier still and eventually she, Liv and Will moved out.
Liv was really upset about their separation. Lots of her friends’ parents were divorced but she never thought it would happen to her parents. She felt it was all her fault. Before the separation agreement could go to court, her parents were told to get some counselling. Mum came home and said that the counsellor said that he needed to inform the Child Protection Team what had happened and it was likely they would decide Liv’s dad should be prosecuted.
In the end, Mum was given custody of Liv and Will, which meant she was the person in charge of looking after her. Dad was not sent to prison, but was only allowed to visit every second weekend in the presence of a court approved person provided Liv wanted to see him. The court also recommended therapy for all of the family members. Liv met regularly with a counsellor to talk about what had happened to her and how she felt about it. Sometimes it was very hard, but talking with someone who seemed to understand was helpful.
One day, Liv’s counsellor suggested that she attend a group with other teenagers who had been sexually abused. She was really scared about going and to begin with, felt she didn’t belong. Everyone, except her, had been forced to have intercourse. She discovered though, that other people were describing exactly the same feelings she had, and this was really reassuring.
The whole family attended family sessions. At first this was difficult too. Although they talked about lots of things apart from sex, Liv felt embarrassed whenever they got onto that subject. There were other difficult things too – like the time her Dad had cried. She had never seen him cry before. She felt really bad and wished she had never said anything so he wouldn’t have to go through this.
However, Dad explained it had been a relief to be able to cry. He had been feeling really bad anyway and if Liv hadn’t told he might have gone further one day. He was responsible for what had happened, not her, but she was the one that made it possible for them all to get help.
Best of all, however, Mum and Dad eventually decided to get back together. They had some therapy together, to deal with the feelings they had about each other, and to try and get the difficulties sorted out so that their marriage would work out this time.
You helped Liv find a way through her story.
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